Buzzfeed Essay Critique

My article is 35 Things Every Engineer Has to Deal With In College. The website link is http://www.buzzfeed.com/jmzarina/35-things-every-engineer-has-to-deal-with-in-colle-bs9p. I think the author was very accurate in describing engineering students, even though this is my first year as an engineering student myself. The author was not that original in describing the community. The majority of engineering students could list off these ideas very similar to these memes, and they could possibly even think of more. The author did do an excellent job of using pictures to enforce the idea of the meme’s title. I think the author was somewhat wrong in describing successful engineering students, because there were no accurate memes describing them. The relationship between the text and pictures was very effective in several ways. The text was very accurate for describing certain scenarios, while the pictures were funny and interesting. The text draws the reader in and the pictures enforce the idea through comedy. I personally liked the meme describing how students feel about their tests, because it uses the T.V. show, The Office, as the picture. I like The Office and it made the meme more enjoyably for me personally. I would change the picture for meme 22, which references solving partial differentials in a person’s sleep. The picture would only relate to students in advanced math classes and was not particular comical. I would replace it with a picture of a person doing something in his or her sleep. My favorite meme was the last one referencing that engineering students love their major. A list of comical memes led up to this last one and was poking fun at engineering in general. This last meme is a more serious one that basically says that engineers have to deal with a bunch of negative things with their major, but in the end they love it and it is worth it. 

Blog Post #8 (Essay Revisions)

My final paper is going to need revisions to change the focus of the paper in order to make it easier to understand and a more in depth analysis of specific topics. One of the first points that I will be changing in my essay is my focus on the different cultures in the Johnson Center. Instead of focusing on the regular gym patrons, new gym patrons, and staff, I will be focusing more on the new patrons. There will still be some focus on the other cultures, especially in how they interact with the new gym patrons. However, the roles of these cultures in my essay will be severely cut back. I’m doing this to make the essay flow better and easier to understand, because it was confusing when all three cultures were being equally presented. Another point that I will be changing is my use of sources. Instead of using five scholarly sources, I am going to change two or three for other sources, such as from the Johnson Center’s website or a fitness magazine. The scholarly sources were difficult to incorporate into the essay, and I feel that using these other types of sources will make my argument more effective, because they can provide supporting evidence that fits better with my thesis. These sources can also be incorporated into different sections of my paper, whereas some of my scholarly sources could only be used in one particular section. Another point I will be revising is to rearrange paragraphs and adding additional paragraphs. My paper could flow better and my argument could be better represented if paragraphs are moved, or if a paragraph is added to elaborate on a previously mentioned point. This would allow more evidence to be used to back up my argument, while giving more in depth views of a specific point with the help of a source or elaboration. I could also add additional paragraphs to describe the Johnson Center in more detail. I feel that I did not adequately describe the physical aspects of the Johnson Center in my rough draft. 

Blog Post 7

The secondary source I found is a journal article from the Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise Journal. It is about how the intensity and duration of exercise differs between who the exercise is being conducted with, where the exercise is taking place, and the age of the person exercising. This is a very credible source for me to use in my ethnography essay, because it is from a professional journal that has been around for a decent amount of time. Another way that this source is credible is that the study conducted took place over a four-year span, giving an ample amount of data to be analyzed for the results of the study. I can use this source to describe how the intensity and duration of exercise taking place at the Johnson Center changes depending on the factors described in the article and how working out at the Johnson Center can be better than working out at home or in an outdoor setting. I am planning to incorporate the quote, “A greater percentage of sports and exercise bouts performed alone (36%) were vigorous compared with bouts occurring with family members (18%), friends/acquaintances (30%), coworkers (25%), or multiple categories (19%),” because it shows statistics of how the intensity of exercise can change depending if it is performed alone or with others, which could go along with the social aspect of my analysis of the Johnson Center.

Citation:

F. Dunton, Genevieve, David Berrigan, Rachel Ballard-Barbash, Barry I. Graubard, and Audie A. Atienza. "Environmental Influences On Exercise Intensity And Duration In A U.S. Time Use Study." Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise 41.9 (2009): 1698-1705. Print.

Blog Post 6

            One thing that stuck out to me while reading Burke’s “Sucked Beneath the Tunnels of Las Vegas” was the idea that there is a whole other side to Las Vegas that no one knows about. When people go to Las Vegas, they focus on the towering buildings, vibrant neon lights, happening nightclubs, and monstrous casinos. No one focuses on the “hidden matrix of tunnels beneath the strip, the storm drains.” I personally do not think of the storms drain of a city, and I don’t imagine that very many people do. As Burke talks about the individuals who live in these storm drains, it becomes very apparent that these unknown people have their reasons for being down there. Whether it is a drug addiction, like Steven, Burke’s new acquaintance from the storm drains, or not having enough money to properly maintain, each person down there has their own story and reason for living in the storm drains. A thing that stuck out to me was Burke’s description of the blankets and “teddy bear” that he saw during one of his trips to the storm drains. I did not think there were any people living in the storm drains of Las Vegas, much less a child living down there too. People are so distracted by all the bustling buildings and action on the streets that they forget about the less fortunate people in the city. I think it would be very hard to ignore all of the attractions of Las Vegas and focus on the people living in the storm drains, especially since most people go to Las Vegas for a vacation or to party. When Burke talked about the possibility of having tours in the Las Vegas storm drains, it made me think of how many people would actually go on these tours. Would people go to Las Vegas because of its notation as sin city or would they go to meet the hidden population of the storm drains that had been kept out of the public’s eye?

Speech Critique (Prompt 5)

I think my attention getter was a very effective way to start my speech. The freshman 15 is something that mostly everyone has heard of and is a very serious threat for some freshmen. It drew the attention of a lot of people in the class and was a good way to start a speech about a gym, which is the most effective way to keep the extra weight off. I think I covered all of the points of my speech that were included on my outline. I got to everything that I wanted to include, and I feel like I did not exceed the time limit. I think I did a good job maintaining eye contact with the audience. There were a few instances when I would look away from the audience to check my note cards or look at a slide on my presentation, but other than that I felt like I had good eye contact. I feel like I could have transitioned between my main points better. It seemed like I jumped from one point to another and there was no flow between them. I also could have spoken more clearly. There were very noticeable points when I would stutter or not pronounce my words as clearly as I could have. I feel like it would have been easier to understand parts of my speech if I had spoken better. I could have elaborated more on my research plan. I used a broad statement to say that I would try to interview more people, instead of saying any specifics, like whom I would specifically try to interview or how I would go about doing it. I felt like my clincher was weak compared to the rest of my speech. It was not a good way to conclude my presentation, and I thought I could have made a better one if I had prepared more. 

Why the Johnson Center? Prompt 4

Since many people are skeptical of others, I’ll need to prove why the Johnson Center is a worthy place for me to study, using ethos, logos, and pathos.

Ethos will be expressed by my many trips to the Johnson Center to educate myself about all of the different cultures that are found inside of it. I’ll tell how I utilized the facilities at the gym and introduced myself to fellow students and workers at the Johnson Center.

I will demonstrate logos by explaining all of the different opportunities the Johnson Center offers, including the indoor and outdoor facilities, free fitness classes, and the new technology that the Johnson Center has. I’ll explain what the facilities are, what is entailed in each fitness class, and the thousands of dollars the Johnson Center spent on new equipment and technology.

Pathos will be shown in my speech by my body language, language, and using methods to engage the audience. I’ll ask questions that almost everyone will respond to, such as “Who is afraid of the freshman fifteen?” I want to keep the audience interested so they can hear what I have to say.

I think my strategies will be effective because everyone is interested in staying in shape, and the Johnson Center is the best way to do it on campus. I believe keeping the audience engaged will keep them interested in my speech and why the Johnson Center is a great place. 

Blog Post #3

Nick Demas

Ms. Hoy

WRD 110-057

        My secondary source for the Johnson Center is an article from the Kentucky Kernel. The Johnson Center added 16 elliptical machines, which are able to produce usable energy, in 2009. The ellipticals have already “produced about 2,062 kilowatt hours,” from just three years since being added. Not only do these machines produce usable energy for the Johnson Center, they create a more effective workout for individuals who decide to participate in the program. Some students and staff are skeptical about this program for good reasons. The energy produced so far has not yet covered the cost of equipping the machines with the technology to produce usable energy. I could use this article to talk about how the Johnson Center is reducing the university’s carbon footprint. This would make the Johnson Center a more environmentally friendly place, possibly winning over anyone who is big on protecting the environment. The article is a credible resource, since Morgan Eads, one of the veteran journalists, writes it.

Eads, Morgan. " Elliptical machines help power Johnson Center | The Kentucky Kernel." The Kentucky Kernel | University of Kentucky's daily student newspaper.. N.p., 11 Oct. 2012. Web. 19 Sept. 2013. <http://kykernel.com/2012/10/11/elliptical-machines-help-power-johnson-center/>.